Travel 101: Read visa stamps upon ARRIVAL.

Hello wonderful people! I'm currently opening my blog for the first time in almost a month. I suppose that speaks to what life has been like for the past few weeks. Namely, chock full of people, busyness, love, laughter, and life. Every time I thought about writing,  I was completely overwhelmed with the prospect of putting into words what I've been learning, thinking, and feeling. God is so good, and I am learning to be ok with not being able to put into nicely framed phrases what He's doing in my life. Sometimes I spend too much time trying to understand what I'm living, and not enough time just living. So, over the course of the next few months, as I transition once again into a new phase of my life, I will be gradually processing, gradually realizing, gradually growing out of this experience. But I'm afraid that patience will be required, as I am finding it impossible to share my heart at the moment.

However, there are many other external things to share; namely, the growing list of things that seem to be determined to keep me in Bolivia.

First, the visa. I have a tourist visa that is valid for 90 days, 3 entries per year. I'm here in the country for 94, and was anticipating the small fine at the airport upon departure. Yesterday, I started poking around the internet to see if there was anything else I needed to do before leaving, like pay the fine at the Immigration office, or anything like that. In my searching, I came across a site that casually mentioned that occasionally, border control stamps visas for 30 days instead of 90, for no particular reason,  and you have to go to immigration to apply for more days. I pulled out my passport, and was shocked to find a previously unnoticed 30 scribbled on my visa stamp.

So. Catherine is illegal. And the 4-day fine is now a 64-day fine. However, my brilliant host mom has come up with a plan, affectionately named by my brothers "the mafia plan." On Saturday we travel to Copacabana, which happens to be 15 mins from the Peruvian border. We cross the border, and return through Bolivian border control, where they stamp my visa for another entry into the country for another 90, or 30, days. Supposedly. We'll see how it goes.

Secondly, the flight. On Tuesday, there was a strike at the airport, and we have no idea if flights are leaving yet. So I called American Airlines this morning to ask about my flight for next Tuesday. The woman entered my name and flight number.....and couldn't find a reservation in my name.

Ok. Breathe. Jesus is in control. And life is an adventure =)

All in all,  we've laughed a lot over this whole situation, and my brothers are quite content with the idea of me not being to leave the country at all. However, as much as it breaks my heart to be leaving, I do really want to see my family, and I am scheduled to be at HoneyRock on May 17th. So prayers would be greatly appreciated - for peace, for trust, for joy, and for the ability to continue to laugh about the twists and turns of this crazy life.

I love you all, and I'll see many of you very, very soon. I leave you with Tozer's prayer from the chapter of The Pursuit of God that I read this morning.

"O God, quicken to life every power within me, that I may lay hold on eternal things. Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception; enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good. Make heaven more real to me than any earthly thing has ever been. Amen."

Don't get comfortable.

Wow, it really has been a long time since I last wrote! Life has been a whirlwind. Sorry about the lack of updates; as a quick rundown, I have finished my time in Potosi and am now living in La Paz for the remainder of my time with the Ramirez family. The mom, Erica, is a physical therapist and has a consulting office in the city along with a speech therapist. Hugo, the dad, works with the mission office. I also have 2 brothers - Jose (15) and Pablo (17). They are wonderful and hilarious and it's fantastic to have siblings again. In general I'm just so happy to have a family! Erica and I have tons of fun being the only girls in the house, and she greatly appreciates having a cooking and shopping partner, as do I =) The two of us are plotting to find a complete and utter chick flick and take over the action-movie-overloaded television for a night. Phase 1: fight valiantly for the remote.

The end of my time in Potosi was filled with good times with good friends and bittersweet goodbyes. I already miss the CEMFY crew, and I am so grateful for the time I had there and the things I learned, much of which is still slowly coming into focus. Sometimes it's hard to put words to things learned while they're being lived, but I know that during the rest of my time, and especially after I return to the States, the things that have been impressed upon my heart will become clearer and clearer.

The first thing I noticed during this first week back in La Paz, after the joy, was a sudden lack of hunger for the presence and Word of God. I hadn't even thought about the possibility that when suddenly placed into a situation in which I was much, much more comfortable and supported, I would lose the sense of dependence on Jesus that I had in Potosi. But that's exactly what's been happening. The Lord blessed me with a difficult and stretching 6 weeks, during which I experienced the precious gift of feeling in my heart of hearts my moment-by-moment reliance on Him. But how fickle our hearts, that when presented with beautiful gifts of the Father, we so often forget the Giver and become intoxicated with the gift, which was never meant to satisfy completely.

So that is my one major prayer request at the moment: that these last 5 weeks here in Bolivia would continue to be filled with new glimpses of the Savior, and that my eyes would be open in this new phase of my journey to the things that He has to teach me.

I love you all; may the love of the Father overwhelm your hearts this week.

In Him,
Catherine

Travels, Thoughts, and Arsenic

Hello, hello!! It’s been a good few days without internet, but it’s nice to have it back now! I’m writing on this lovely Saturday afternoon having just gone shopping and made bologna-and-cheddar grilled cheese sandwiches with potato chips for Eysel and I. She and the baby haven’t slept through a night in nearly 5 days…Genesis has a cough to end all coughs. And when you’re about ready to keel over, nobody does comfort food like Americans.

Also on the good-news list: I am basically 100% back to normal health-wise! I'm still noticing the weakness when walking (oh who are you kidding Cat, you're just really out of shape), and am living up to my reputation to be able to sleep 11 hours a night even with an afternoon nap, but all in all I'm feeling much, much better - praise the Lord! 

Updates from the past weeks:

At the beginning of March I traveled to Sucre with Esther to a large, well-established Christian clinic there. We spent two days seeing long-term pediatric cerebral palsy patients and working with kids on speech therapy. It was so cool to see another Christian clinic and the wonderful work they’re doing in the lives of the patients and their families from Sucre. We stayed at Esther’s family’s house, whose dad is a pastor, and whose whole family is a blast. Good food, good jokes, and good laughter.

The second day I taxied back to Potosi and almost immediately left for Yawisla, out in the countryside of Bolivia where the Hawthorne’s spent 15 years of their ministry. The town is nestled in a valley and the whole area is stunningly beautiful. I spent the weekend reading books, playing with the local kids, cooking with Mary, climbing ridges to watch sunsets, and star-gazing at the most magnificent night sky I’ve ever seen. It was a good time, to say the least.

I have a semi-official date of departure for La Paz! I’ll be heading out at the beginning of the last week in March – looking at the 26^th or 27^th.  Praise the Lord for flexibility and encouraging support from the team in La Paz! They are such a blessing.

On Thursday I visited a mine. It was absolute insanity. Literally a once-in-a-lifetime-experience, first because there aren’t very many other places in the world where the tour guide would sit the group down for a chat and forget to mention the dynamite explosion that’s about to go off 50 feet away 10 seconds later, and secondly because I probably would not volunteer to go again. As we were scaling vertical openings in air so thick with dust our headlamps were basically useless, I just kept thinking of the cave tours in the States where they make you sign a paper saying it’s going to be a bit chilly and don’t let you touch the walls. I’m pretty sure the extent of the fore-warning this time was about 10 feet from the entrance: Tour guide - “Anybody got asthma? Pregnant? Claustrophobic? Good, let me know if you can’t breathe.” It took a long shower to get the smell of sulfur and arsenic out of my hair. Don’t worry – apparently arsenic in small quantities is good for your nervous system. In large quantities not so much. I have some (sort-of) pictures that I’ll put up, but the stories are better told in person, so ask me about it when I get back!

Prayer

Although my writing about the mine experience was somewhat lighthearted just then, it was also a very tangible exposure to the darkness and hopelessness of the men working there day to day. The tour took us by one of the Tio (or Devil) idols, and it was shocking to come face to face with that which is so subtle in the US. The sheer audacity of Satan, to claim authority where the Son of God has DIED to redeem, is stunning. But of course, he does it everywhere, it's just much more visible here. There is no government control or over-arching structure in the mining community once you're inside the mountain; it's a shockingly clear picture of what happens when humans in all their depravity have free rein. There are simply self-declared groups of miners, not unlike gangs, and the bigger ones kill the smaller ones when there's a conflict. It's reminiscent of Lord of the Flies. There are some Christian miners, the Hawthorne's have met two, but the opposition has got to be incredible. But can you imagine the power of a few who are committed to sharing the gospel daily, no matter the cost?? Pray, pray, pray for God to raise up a generation of miners whose hearts have been captured by the King, and who will literally bring light into darkness. 

CEMFY (the name of the clinic here; stand for Centro de Medicina Familiar Yawisla) had an emergency patient 3 days ago who had broken his back last week falling from a tree while harvesting on his farm. He spent nearly 6 days in his house before his family got him to us, and he’s completely paralyzed from the waist down. He has sons, but they all live in other cities, and if nothing changes, his wife is completely without a provider. I held her while she cried as the doctors tried to get him onto a stretcher to move him to the local hospital, and the team here just keeps praying for a miracle. PLEASE pray with us – this family is selling nearly everything they have just to get tests done, and they have nothing to pay for whatever those show needs to be done.

Other CEMFY prayer request: The clinic is currently in the process of looking at options for moving location – the current place is expensive and has other issues. So far the search has been unsuccessful – please pray for the Lord to guide the leadership in where He wants this clinic so that it can best serve the people of this area with the love of Jesus.

For me – opportunities to talk about Jesus. The other day when the paralyzed patient was at the clinic with his family, I felt over and over again that God wanted me to go to them, read Scripture, and just talk with them. I found excuse after excuse, mostly regarding my limited Spanish, and never did. It is something that I deeply regret, and that night the Lord gently led me to Exodus 3 and 4, to the story of Moses and the burning bush. At the climax of all of Moses’ excuses, and God’s repeated reassurances of His presence, Moses says,

“O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

The Lord said to him: “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf of mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord?

Now go. I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

Exodus 4: 10-12

I have rarely felt so directly spoken to; so obviously, but tenderly, corrected by God. Well there you have it. I am to speak, despite my fears, despite by lack of vocabulary, despite my excuses. So Jesus, teach me what to say.

I love you all. Listen for His voice today.

Catherine

Prayer

Hello all, a quick post with some prayer requests before I write about all my adventures last weekend =)

It's been a month since I arrived here in Bolivia (wow!), and right on time the fatigue of a new culture, new language, and new people 24/7 has started to take its toll. I've spent yesterday and today at home sick, and could use prayer for strength, not just physically, but spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. It's amazing how hard it gets to try to understand Spanish when your head and stomach are rebelling against you...

As I said, this is right on time - all the literature about culture shock and advice from people here has said that at about a month, the euphoria of a new place starts to wear off and things start to get rough. However, as Spurgeon has said, "He is "my refuge" to which I continually return. I am a pilgrim in the world, but at home in my God. In the earth I wander, but in God I dwell in a quiet dwelling place." Praise Him for his special mercies in times of trial!

One other prayer point: The couple that was planning on coming here to Potosi on March 15th (hence my plan to leave for La Paz then) has cancelled their trip. So I no longer have a deadline for when I have to leave for La Paz. I've really connected with Esther and the other clinic staff here, and I would like to stay for a little longer, but please pray for God's guidance in where I should be and how He wants to use me.

I love you all - your prayers mean so much to me.

In His rest,

Catherine

JOY. Joyjoyjoy.

Oh, my dear, dear friends. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD! Before I get into update details, rejoice with me for a moment! Jesus RESTORES! He heals, and forgives, and overwhelms us in extravagant love! Sometimes I think I might explode with the sheer realization that this is real!! He is real! And we will be with Him. What have we done to deserve a reality in which such impossible joy is ours?? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. My heart might explode. 

Look to Him, "as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts." (2 Peter 1:19) The morning star will rise in our hearts!! How gloriously, wonderfully, incredibly sure is this promise of hope that we have.

I just finished listening to the sermon that Pastor Begg preached last Sunday - Peter Denies Jesus. I finished reading 1 and 2 Peter the other day, and for some reason I always forget Peter's story when I read his letters. And then when I'm reminded, I am blown away once again by the incredible testimony of God's faithfulness in his life, and in ours. He is so good to us!!

Ok. I suppose I should provide some details of my life, as well as how awesome Jesus is. =) It's been a week and a day since I arrived here in Potosi! The Lord's protection and strength has been the theme of this week, even when I've felt weak and lonely. It is definitely hard to live alone. Double that when living in a foreign culture with new people. But like I said in my last post, this is also a time of sweet communion with Jesus and being content in His presence - something that is definitely a learning process, since I have spent so much time training my heart to depend on things other than Him, who is all I need. But there are times, like today, when He guides me to a place where I can focus on Him, and He floods my heart with joy unspeakable. It is a mystery to me why I ever choose other things, but He is so patient with my fickle heart.

To simplify things, here's a breakdown of my week into two categories:

Wonderful Things

Eysel, the woman who I'm renting my room from, is so incredibly sweet and welcoming and helpful. Twice this week she's held the ladder for me to climb into my kitchen when I locked myself out. She cooks lunch for me every day at the clinic, and is constantly giving. And her beautiful, smiley, precious baby girl Genesis is a plus too =)

Lots and lots of conversation time with Esther, the physical therapist at the clinic, when there are no patients. She is so sweet and patient with my Spanish (although I mostly listen), and has basically adopted me into her family's routine. I went swimming today with her and Ramina, her 1 year-old (what did I do to get to be around all these adorable children?); tomorrow I'm going to her church and lunch afterwards with her family, and next week we're going to Sucre together for a PT conference thingy. 

Divine protection of my stomach as I've eaten everything on the Do-Not-Eat-In-Foreign-Countries list in the past week. Fresh unwashed fruits and veggies, tap water, icecream, etc, all for the sake of this wonderful culture and its people. When the people feeding you are barely scraping by, you eat the veggies. "Jesus, protect my stomach," has been a common prayer, and one that He has answered again and again.

Kind people who give me directions on the street and don't laugh at my pronunciation of street names...

Mountains at sunrise. And sunset. And always.

Hard Things

Not being able to express myself fully or understand subtle conversations about how someone is feeling or doing. I get the basic stuff, but I so badly want to be able to understand the hearts of the people I'm around.

Being afraid of talking about Jesus in Spanish because I feel like I can't say much. Of course, this is an excellent exercise in trusting the gospel in all its simplicity, but I keep chickening out.

Confusion regarding cultural norms in how to get to know people...I just finished an excellent book called Foreign To Familiar about hot and cold cultures, and the author tells a story about living in South America and expecting to be invited into people's homes, when in fact they were waiting for her to come to them. This is very helpful information, but very difficult to put into practice when the American culture is one centered around privacy in many ways. It sounds really rude to me to just walk into one of the other homes in the complex I'm staying in without being invited, so courage to step outside my cultural comfort zone is much needed!

Still feeling extremely tired by the time the afternoon roles around. It's hard to stay engaged with patients and with Esther when I feel like just laying down on the floor.

Lack of routine Christian community - the kind where people are always asking about you and Jesus (like Wheaton).

Prayer Requests

• Continued deepening of relationships with those at the clinic; unity in Jesus despite cultural differences
• Opportunities to get to know the rest of the family living here (none of whom are Christians)
• The Church here in Potosi. Health and Wealth gospel is very common in the churches, and in the city in general, outright idol worship is routine. On the way to the hot springs today we passed a door in the mountain labeled "La Puerta del Diablo" or, the Door of the Devil. Pray for the power of the gospel to overcome the fear of the Enemy!
• Continued health and strength 
• Courage to have Jesus at the center of everything I say

Once again, I love you all with the love of the Lord. Que Dios te bendiga.

 The kitchen at the clinic =) Some of the best food I've ever had has come from that little stove!

 View from the roof of the clinic at sunset. 

Potosi <3

Independencia

Hello from Potosí! It blows my mind when I think of the last 48 hours that I even got here! On Thursday, I bought a plane ticket and then it turned out the plane was full. Thursday afternoon I bought another plane ticket, got to the airport at 7 am for the 8am flight, and left the ground at 12:30 pm after the flight was delayed approximately 6 times. I then got in a taxi and drove 2.5 hours to Potosí, only to find that the taxi driver knew nothing about the streets and was from Sucre. After getting Mary on the phone, talking through directions, and going around many a block, I finally made it! God is good.

Within the first 3 hours of my arrival, I had hauled my 50 lb suitcase up three flights of stairs to the Hawthorne’s house, sat in on an informal English class that Mary is conducting with some Bolivian girls, went to visit the clinic, met Esther (the physical therapist), sat in on an appointment with one of her patients, walked back to the Hawthorne’s, got my suitcase back down the stairs to a taxi, dropped Mary’s friend off at the bus station, and arrived at my home for the next month. In the next couple hours before I went to bed, I unpacked and set up my room, locked myself out of the kitchen, used a ladder to climb in the window, and attempted to figure out how to do dishes without a sink or a faucet. LIFE IS GOOD. And I’m amazed I don’t have altitude sickness.

Here’s a run-down of my living situation and what I’ll be doing for the next four weeks!

The home of Eysel (the nurse at the clinic) is a very common set-up in Potosí. There is a door in the wall coming off the street, which opens into a sort of 2-story courtyard with various doors in the adobe walls. Eysel lives on the lower level, and my room is directly above her. There are two other ‘homes’ within the larger complex, as far as I can tell, and other members of Eysel’s family live there. There is a sister, some in-laws, and Eysel’s adorable 8 month-year-old, and they all have separate living spaces opening out onto the courtyard, which is chock full of clothslines, cleaning supplies, and wash buckets. The bathroom is on the lower level, and consists of a toilet, a sink, a free standing bathtub, and a shower head that sticks out over the open tub. It wasn’t made for tall gringas like me, so showering is a great quad workout. I also have…drum roll please….my own kitchen!! It’s adorable, and is quite well stocked with all the necessary non-food items, but I must admit I’ve never thought about a kitchen without a faucet. There’s water next to the bathroom downstairs, but it really is a conundrum as to how you rinse dishes without getting everything dirty again.

 Everyone talks about how cold Potosí is, and when I looked at the forecast before I came I laughed because the coldest it ever gets at this time of year is like, 45 degrees. Hah, I’m from Cleveland, it’s all good……. Never, EVER underestimate the value of doors that close all the way and this one thing called heat. It’s amazing how cold 50 degrees is when there’s no insulation…But my bed is wonderfully warm, and if there’s one thing us Clevelanders can do, it’s layer =)

Ok, now for the schedule part. This is about to get all kinds of crazy.

Monday, Wednesday, Friday: Go to the clinic in the morning with Eysel and work with Esther all morning. Eat lunch either at the clinic, the Hawthorne’s, or at a street vendor. Bus over to another part of town and meet with a Spanish tutor for 3 hours in the afternoon. Figure out how to cook dinner without burning the world.

Tuesday: Study the cultural history of Potosí with Mary in the morning; work with Esther in the afternoon. Repeat food attempts.

Thursday: Sight-see in the morning, clinic in the afternoon. Decide that food is too much work and forget about it.

Weekends: Sleep? Hahah

So yeah! It’s going to be a whirlwind of a month. Today I went shopping in the market with Mary and tried to get various useful things. I got some fruits and veggies, but I haven’t found the purifying stuff that you soak them in yet, so for now I’m just staring longingly at my avocados. Afterwards, I went back with Eysel to the house and couldn't figure out what the eating plan was, so I ate cereal alone in my kitchen and suddenly felt very lonely. This is the first place I've ever been in my life where I literally know no one. And although my Spanish is getting better, I definitely don’t understand everything, and I’m in sort of a constant state of wondering whether I missed something (like whether I was supposed to eat with Eysel’s family…). At the same time however, I felt very strongly last night that this is going to be a rare and precious time of communion with Jesus in a solitude that I’m not going to encounter many more times in my life. I reallyyy want to make the most of this, and pursue the things that I feel like God is beginning to teach me, so prayers for that would be greatly appreciated, as always. In terms of the trust thing, that’s already uncomfortably necessary, even down to eating and getting where I need to go. Cheers to independence! And praise to the Sustainer.

I love you all more than words can describe, and I appreciate your community so, so much, especially now that God has taken me out of that community for a time.

In His peace,

Cat

Room!

More room.

Market =)

Yummmm

First successful grocery run! Chicken, Bananas, Avocados, Green beans, Potatoes, Eggs, Cereal, Yogurt.

My kitchen =))

Reaching for the Rock

My faith is not practical. It is theoretical.

My faith is a bit like my Spanish. Studied in cushioned pews, explored in classrooms, repeated in small portions in controlled environments.

Francis Chan has said that we should live our lives in such a way that if God did not intervene with miracles, everything would collapse about us (my paraphrase). I have lived my life in such a way that if God would like to, he is welcome to come add a brick to the top of my secure little wall.

And now, like my Spanish, I have entered an environment where I am suddenly confronted with people whose faith is immensely, intensely practical. Like my lungs, I am suddenly confronted with the need for much, much more hemoglobin. It's terrifying, overwhelming, and exhilarating, as Truth usually is.

I think that God is calling me to trust Him. That word tastes sweeter and richer and deeper in my mouth than it ever has before. I wrote in my journal before I left for Bolivia that I felt like for the past couple years of my life, I've gotten to a certain place in my walk with the Lord, fallen back a ways, come back, fallen away again, etc, but never gone beyond that point. He's calling me to put a foot out across that line and keep walking. At this point, I feel like I'm pointing my toe in the dark, knowing the ground will be there, but irrationally afraid that it won't be. And maybe it'll be a little, or a lot, further down than I think it is. But it's there. The Rock is there.

Tomorrow at 8 am I get on a little military plane and head for Potosi, Bolivia where I'll spend the next month in a clinic. I know that I'm going to see pain that I've never encountered, and hurt that seems impossible to fix, but as my dad said earlier today, I'm "following in the footsteps of the Great Physician." May we never forget to hope for that day when "the moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the Lord binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted."

One major prayer item, besides general peace and trust in the One who has it all under control: One woman approached me at the church camp this past week and told me that she wanted to forewarn me that she experienced more spiritual oppression in Potosi than anywhere she's ever been. There is a huge mining culture there that believes that when they are below ground, they are with Satan, and appeasement sacrifices are routine. The Evil One holds sway over many of the people there. I am so thankful to know ahead of time that when I feel that darkness I'm not alone, but I would appreciate much prayer for a tangible knowledge of the power of Jesus over darkness and a continuous reminder that He conquered the grave. I don't think it's at all a coincidence that I'll be in Potosi for the majority of the Lent season, as I re-read Reliving the Passion by Walter Wangerin and meditate on the wonder of the cross.

I love you all so so much, and I can't tell you how thankful I am for your prayers. I had a lot on my mind, so I apologize for the lack of stories, but I'll be back to give you a glimpse of the wonderful church community that I experienced at Camp El Puente and what's going on in Potosi in a couple days!

I leave you with this prayer from Wangerin in my devotional this morning:

"Merciful Lord,
Hold me to the fire long enough to know my whole self truly, long enough to be cleansed be your burning forgiveness. Let me feel your passion again, studiously and well, to my good and to your glory, forever.
Amen."